Fight Against Fate

The XLRI final results were announced and i was not selected.I felt disappointed as i had a good percentile score of 99.79 in XAT and had what i felt was a decent interview.But i guess the XL professors dint find me good enough to be even waitlisted.

I have never loved a girl till now so probably i wouldnt know the pain of a heartbreak, but probably this would be 10 times the pain.When the result sheet read SORRY|| my heart stopped beating for a moment and i suddenly felt directionless.

This had been my life since the past 5 years and i used to think about this 24*7.When i had decided in my first year engineering that MBA,i had to decide where i would do it. I decided that it had to be one of the top10 institutes in India and nothing else. My parents had assumed that i was against GMAT because of the huge amount of money involved, but the truth is that being their only child i couldnt stay far away from them both for the emotional and responsibility factors.

I have always liked responsibility and so there was no question of me leaving my parents in the lurch.Though there was no financial responsibilities for me,everything else mattered.So once it was set it was India where i would be doing my MBA i consulted some of my seniors,cousins and zeroed in on the following institutes:

IIM A,B,C,L,I,K ,XLRI-J,SP Jain,FMS.

I was clear that it had to be one of these.Next step was testing myself whether i was taking a right career path.So along with some of my friends joined CSI-SJCE and took part and later organized some events as well.

During the course of the 4 years of my engineering - i had found my strengths
1)Creativity
2)spontaniety
3)leadership skills
4)man-management
5) convincing abilities

I knew all this bode me a good future in management as i could build on these.Every step was carefully planned without anybody else realising that.I managed whatever i could in building a profile and had decent acads to go with it.So then came CAT 2008 and i had prepared well for it.Unfortunately i could manage only 98+ percentile and probably would have got a call for it had i had some decent workex,but i dint have that either.

I was disappointed but i knew that for doing MBA specially in India one had to be patient.
So circa 2009 i decided to expand my options and wrote XAT and FMS along with CAT.

I prepared very hard for these exams.Since i was also working i had put in that extra bit.
I used to be very tired after long office hours and the to and fro from the company from my house.I used to try to sleep in my office bus and sometimes did manage to as well,but the people in my bus being very social dint allow me most of the times.

I still remember during september-november i used to feel the great urge to sleep at around 12 in the night ,but since i wanted this badly and so used to switch on tv so that i could keep myself awake.After all the hardowork i wrote the 3 exams.XAT result came first and i got 99.79.I was very happy since for the first time in my life my efforts were answered for.Cat results were delayed due to the mismanagement by Prometric this time.I prepared zealously for interview of XL.Every page of Mint,ET was my breakfast and every program in ET Now,CNBC TV18,NDTV Profit was my dinner.

The interview was done with and went quite ok actually.The same day Cat results came out and again it was 98+. I was very sure that i would be getting 99.5+ easily as XAT was way tougher than CAT this time.But well i met with disappointment there. In this waiting period between the interview and final result i got a call for SP Jain too.

Today the XL results came and i dint get through. I was an "also-ran". I am a very bad loser and this stung me.My parents were shell shocked too. Bad luck i think has fallen in love with me and has become very possessive of me.Me even talking to some good luck will be instantly repudiated by her.

As my father said, if he could - from being a mango and newspaper seller when he was a 5 year old ,work hard and become a top government officer today,i too would one day get what i want.

When i die my signature would read


"Lost all the Battles but won the War" and i know that i will be back with a bang and get what i want.

God you too cant stop me.

Wish a Sister!!!

For those people who know me closely , they would know that i am a single child to my parents.But i had a sister.She was not a living being but was a doll made of straws gifted to me by my father when i was 3.We had named her Shobha.She was a very cute girl and i used to spend a lot of time of my childhood with her.

I used to celebrate her birthday every year on March 3rd in a very discreet manner.Dressing up her with all kind of props had become my pastime.I used to sleep keeping her near my head.I had become so protective of her that i had bitten my elder cousin's hand when he had tried to come near it.

At that young age being as immatured as i was i had made plans for her marriage,the grandness with which i would celebrate her's(of course i was part influenced with my father marrying off his three sisters and the immense difficulties we as a family had gone through).I wanted to go through all the grind.With my penchant for always thinking big i had always imagined her wedding in the Bangalore palace with richness and exuberance.She was the sole outlet of all my feelings.She would patiently hear all what i had to talk,though she dint have anything to add to it.

But after few years the straws had started to fall off and eventually Shobha was taken away from me by the very person who gave it to me.I was cross with my father for a few days but then we sat down and had a man to well, a boy talk.But still i could not forget her.
She was the sister i never had.When i see my friends with their siblings and the closeness they enjoy i feel jealous,filled with envy.

They have so many stories to tell of each other,feelings churn inside me as to why i dont have one.But being a single child you learn to live that way.I have somehow come to enjoy my loneliness. But God you played a very rude game with me. You could have been more generous with me.

Anyways people who do have siblings,treasure these relationships all your life because single children like me would know the pain of not having one.


And as for you Shobha - maybe some other janma......